Alright guys, I know this site is called “College Football Country”, and I know I’m supposed to #StickToCollegeFootball, and I know that’s not a real hashtag, and I know that joke wasn’t funny, but this website is also “by Josh Parcell”, which means from time to time I’m going to tell some stories about my ridiculous life.
This is the story of how I nearly hacked Adam Schefter.
It was summer 2011. I’m an intern at ESPN in Bristol, CT, and I am a NERD. NERRRRRD. Look:
(Believe it or not I had a girlfriend, and she was hot too)
So I’m a few months into my internship, and the NFL lockout is in full swing. I don’t remember the exact day, but sometime in early July it seemed like the whole thing was coming to an end soon. Adam Schefter was literally sleeping on the floor of his office in between Sportscenter hits basically every hour. The guy is an animal.
On this day, my shift was to be the assistant researcher for the 6pm Sportscenter. That meant around 5:45 I would head down to the studio, log in to my computer and fire up every sports data website known to man before 6:00 hits. At that time, there was one desk for every episode of Sportscenter, so as one crew signed off, the next set of anchors would hop in like a Chinese fire drill.
In the final minutes before that 6:00 pm Sportscenter began, Schefty’s out on the set giving the latest update on the lockout. As I walk back to my Stat Boy Station, what do you know, but it’s Adam Schefter’s Twitter wide the hell open right there on my computer.
So many thoughts enter my head. Do I log him out? I mean, if I don’t, how will John Buccigross get his index card with an update on the Rockies-Marlins game? Do I sit here and wait for Schefter to finish his segment before I do anything? Or…do I take the power that’s fallen right in my lap and become a legend? IS THIS MY MOMENT?!
Suddenly, I had the chance to end the NFL lockout in 140 characters. It was right there in front of me. Just a quick tweet and I would have had that story forever. Thankfully,
I don’t have balls I’m not an idiot, because I sat and stared at the screen doing absolutely nothing. A few minutes later, a frazzled Schefter rolls up and frantically closes out of everything, logs out and disappears mysteriously into the night.
So here I am, six years later, not at ESPN, blogging about the time I almost hacked Adam Schefter but didn’t. Safe to say things have worked out prettay prettay good for me.
Thanks to this video for inspiring my story: